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My wife is the same way. An issue that has to be addressed BEFORE the party. Sounds like y'all haven;t discussed the "ideal" party before. or else you'd know she doesn't want to sing, she wants to dance. Easy fix really, sit down with her and write up an itinerary for the party: X time we set out snacks and party favors; X time we welcome guests; X time we serve drinks/food, etc;, X time we ( all who want to) play games for x minutes; (give this to her) X time we (all who want to) dance, for X minutes; X time we ( all who want ) sing. for X minutes;. And then have alternate activities for those who "don't want to", at each stage ( let the wife pick). As in all in marriage, pick your battles...lol
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